How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
