This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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