so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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