I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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