im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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