I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
