okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
