Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
