i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
