i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This is my gift to your gina
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I need a beard to bite.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
