he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
