Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
