just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You can't just leave with hair like that
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
