Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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