god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
