if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
