I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
