It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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