She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
