Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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