you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
