Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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