and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
