Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
