and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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