I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
40s are totally the cure
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
