I puked a lego.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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