i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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