How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
