forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
