If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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