I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
