Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I don't think brook has ever known best
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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