Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
