Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I think i got beer on your cat.
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