covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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