there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
handjob tips. give me some.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
