and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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