so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
