PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
