never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
