guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
