Ambien. No doubt about it.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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