Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
