All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
