Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
