Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
thus making me awesome and them whores
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
