GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
