would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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