Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We need to get me chipped asap
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